I don't even know who I am anymore. Do you?

This year has been all about "YOLO" for me.

Less thinking, more doing.

I mean...what's to life without stories?

And great stories aren't built from just thoughts.

Let me take you back to October for a moment.

I flew across the US for a food club picnic my friend was hosting.

FYI: There is no winning when it comes to finding the right time to book flights. I ended up paying double because I was waiting for it to come down by another $10-20...

Anyhow, so there were rules to this picnic. I'll tell you the one that stood out.

Please don't ask someone what they do for work or where they work or anything about work.

Mind you that I did not know 95% of the people attending this event.

Yes, it was awkward as heck. Normally you have the go-to conversation starter of "What do you do?" but that was off the table.

It became obvious that we often lean on our professional roles to define us.

Stripped of this, many of us struggled to connect on a more personal level.

It wasn't about finding a common ground; it was about rediscovering aspects of ourselves that get overshadowed by our work identities.

This got me thinking - why are we so interwined with our jobs that we can't even talk about ourselves without it?

Have our careers become our primary identity?
Are our jobs defining what we do and who we are?

You are probably thinking why does this matter. And it makes perfect sense because most of our lives are spent at work - so duh, work is who we are.

Here's what you didn't realize when you and your job becomes one:

1. Our hobbies, passions, and personal experiences that makes us who we are takes a backseat (aka less fulfilling life). Do you even have hobbies, passions, and a life outside of work?

2. Our mind will prioritize work over personal health, relationships, and leisure (aka lack of work-life balance since you are just work). Do you exist on this earth just work and survive another day?

3. Our world view is limited to our circle of comfort from readings, conversations, and people. Do you have close relations to people outside your field of work?

4. Our self-worth gets tied closely to our job performance. We end up pushing ourselves to do more and more at work. Sounds familiar?

5. Our fear of career transitions become unbearable. So we opt to stick it out till we retire because what else can we do?

And this is the kicker - by focusing so much on our work identity, you miss out on other opportunities that are more aligned to your talents, interests, and skills that could lead to a more enriched life.

Of course, our careers are an important part of our lives.

But they shouldn't be our whole story.

We are much more than that.

You are much more than that.

Yours Truly,

Mary F